italiafile

Why are the columnists in the Sunday Times Homes section so uniformly repellent? Not content with the vile woman with Hero and Tybalt as children (see previous posts) last week there was an article with a couple whose children are called Solomon and Sesame. The latter child is a girl. Do her parents not realise they have condemned her to a lifetime of inadequate men sidling up to her and breathing 'Open Sesame'? I hope she sues her parents for cruelty. This week we have a woman in France who manages to write an entire page about not being able to have broadband in France, as her rustic idyll is too far from the local telephone exchange. Well, whoop-de-dooh. I can trump her.. NTL refused me broadband on the same basis when I lived in South East London. I think I win. There's another buy-to-let landlord trying to out greed Rosie Millard. They are all so deeply unattractive personalities it is impossible for the reader to have an iota of sympathy with their plights. Perhaps it's time to stop buying the bloody thing, or to start writing threatening letters.

Here Naples managed to escape the worst of the weather that incapacitated most of Italy. South of Salerno there were 2 metres of snow, and the A3 was shut for 4 days. On the Abruzzo coast, it was -13 with 120 km winds. Snow in Sicily, Puglia and Calabria. Here in Naples it was cold and wet. Today dawned chilly but crisp and clear, and surprisingly warm in the sun. If that was winter, I'm happy.

BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Italy's dolce vita turns sour

A BBC article on how much prices have gone up since the euro came in... something everyone living in Italy knew a week after the shiny new coins appeared for the first time. It's only Mr Berlusconi who doesn't seem to have noticed the price rises.

When I first started coming to Italy the idea of credit cards and 'Buy now pay later' credit was unheard of. Now it's everywhere. Without a doubt there will be tears before bedtime.

From the sublime to the ridiculous. The weather is now typically English, grey, rain, sleet, hail.. large macho Neapolitan men look out from shop windows oohing and aahing over the sleet declaring it to be snow and 'like goose feathers'.
To cap it all the papers are now leading with articles such as, 'traffic nightmare', 'a bit of snow and the whole place grinds to a halt', demands for streetworks to be coordinated to prevent endless holes in the roads, and discussions about water privatisation. It's just like a wet copy of the Evening Standard on a winter's afternoon in London. At least here winter only last a couple of weeks.
However, Vesuvius does look rather pretty with a snow cap.

Goldliocks at large.... everywhere this morning were small people dressed up in their best fancy dress costumes 

Naples has seemingly declared the start of carnival this weekend...  

Sunday morning in January and Naples is out taking the air by the sea...  

It's all happening here. Last night Cosimo di Lauro, the son and effective leader of the Di Lauro mafia clan was arrested by the police. As he was being led out of his safe house the women of the area pelted the police with stones and water bottles. Across from Scampia where the scissionisti.. (the breakaway camorra clan) have their base, there were wild fireworks and celebrations. Of course it won't mean the end of the latest clan war, but the police have had some significant success in recent weeks. On the same day a decapitated and burnt body was found belonging to one of the two sides. Deaths so far this year 12.

Another death, this time not in Naples. The story behind this one is more hopeless. The background is that the number 53 has not been drawn in the Venice lottery for 177 weeks. Very few numbers are so 'ritardato' and people have been laying huge bets on the number coming up for weeks. Last week a woman stole 1 million euros from her bank and played it all on 53. It didn't come up. The week before another housewife from Milan, put all her family's savings on the the number. Again a no show. She threw herself off the balcony.
I play the lottery most weeks, 2 euros a time. I stand behind people with obviously very little money who play the lotto, (the local Naples lottery) the Superenalotto, (the national lottery) as well as the Totogol, the Italian pools. They routinely hand over 50 or 60 euros a time.
The system is different here. At the moment there are 9 local lotteries, Venice, Naples, ROme, FLorence, Bari... etc, the first number out of the hat for 6 of these form the numbers for the national lottery. But this year its all changing. To streamline the event, there will be only three regional lotteries, north, central and south. What has caused more consternation is a change in the televising of the same. For hundreds of years, certainly here in Naples, the lucky balls have been chosen from a mesh barrel by a blindfolded child. It's all to stop in the autumn when automatic machines will do the job. The ITalian equivalent of Guinevere will pick the lucky balls. It won't be the same. At the moment the child takes a ball, passes it to an official who opens the ball, extracts the piece of linen with a number on it and passes it to another official who opens out the material square and displays the number for a fourth person to read. I suppose its a metaphor for Italian overstaffing and its high time it went, but it wont be the same with a mere machine to make you a multi millionaire.

Further to the 'thing they are a'changing' post of the other day, it seems they are indeed a'changing.. which would please Mr Dylan. Shopkeepers in Forcella have revolted and not only refused to pay the protection money but have named and shamed the perpetrators. Police swooped.. (why do police always swoop? In contrast they never soar... ) and have arrested 7 men. It's a start. To balance the imminent collapse of the criminal gangs there was another murder yesterday... and today the papers tell us that the 'mafia' or organised crime in Italy earns 100,000,000,000 euro a year. Thats a lot... and thats just from drugs, prostitution and other crime, no mention ofthe legitimate businesses they have invested in.

Independent News

A story from the Independent about the infamous 'pizzo' or bribe that shopkeepers have to pay to the mafia...

BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Italy urged to battle the bulge

Perhaps things are changing.. though I won't hold my breath.
Within 12 hours of the murder of the woman on Saturday, someone had phoned the police with names and addresses. Six young men have been arrested, one of them 16 years old. It seems that if you butcher women and children the code of omertà means nothing, and you get grassed up. Hopefully it will be the thin end of the wedge.

Berlusconi has announced that if the left get in at the next elections it will mean 'terror and death' as is usual under the communists. A bit strong, but then perhaps he believes it. He has spent the last few years telling everyone how terrible the communists are...talk about scare mongering. I suppose that if the left were to get into power there would be some bombs and Berlusconi could claim he was right. It all depends though who planted the things in the first place.....

Well, the man mountain Maradona wants to play a farewell game in Naples on October 30th this year, his birthday. Neapolitans are delerious, all I have spoken to conveniently ignoring the fact that Diego is obese, has a severe heart problem and hasnt stepped onto a football pitch for years. If he makes it to October I can't believe that any Neapolitan would want to see such an embarrassing scene as Maradona waddling out onto a pitch and having other professionals letting him pant his way to the goal line. Last year when he almost died, the windows of sports shops were instantly filled with thousands of yellow post it notes full of imprecations to God to save Maradona's life. For an Englishman who has grown up aware of the man's talent going hand in hand with an ability to cheat it all seems mildly amusing, but here it is not done to slander the man who single handedly took Naples to the top of the championship not once but twice, albeit 15 years ago. Of course if his son is instrumental in the revival of Naples football... that will be worth seeing, bearing in mind that when Naples first won the league the street party lasted 5 days.

The Comune is having to buy nearly 3000 new litter bins for the huge increase in cigarette butts on the street since the anti smoking laws came in force a week ago. They seem to be holding .. so far... but the Neapolitans patience is wearing thin. This morning an elderly gent lit up in the bar while I was having my breakfast and nobody said a word.... it was too cold to go outside.

Yesterday another Camorra murder. The 7th so far this year. This was the mother of a wanted man, lured to the front door in her dressing gown and shot. her husband is already in prison, and two of her nephews were shot and wounded last week. The head of the police says that this 'faida' will see the extermination of complete families.

Incredibly the first fine imposed for breaking the anti-smoking law was dished out in Naples, at one minute past midnight on 10 January. Since then there have been only a handful, but the police are seen as being highly devoted to searching for offenders. They plunge into bars, bingo halls, university corridors searching for miscreants, while immediately outside the 'parcheggiatori' (illegal parking 'attendants') are completely ignored. I assume, along with most of Naples, that this will be a short lived offensive, and in a couple of weeks things will be back to normal.
Some pro-smokers are collecting the signatures needed for a petition to hold a country wide referendum, as they say the laws break the constitution. It will be interesting to see what happens on that score.

At midnight the new smoking laws come into force. The coverage in the papers over the last few days has equalled the column inches devoted to the tsunami. For Naples, where 50% of the population smoke, this law will be about as effective as the crash helmet, seat belt and not talking on the mobile while driving laws.
Basically, smoking will be banned in any internal space, bars, pubs, shops, restaurants and disco's. Smoking will only be permitted if the area is separated from the other parts by walls, with a self closing door, does not take up more than 50% of overall public space and has a fearsome ventilation system installed which is akin to being in a wind tunnel. Apparently less than 2% of Italian business will meet these requirements.
Here in Naples it is the other part of the law which is raising most worries. Anybody smoking in a banned place must be reported to the police by the owner. The smoker could be fined 250 euro, the owner 2500. (double if the smoking was committed in the presence of a child or pregnant woman). Now, Naples being Naples, every single bar and restaurant owner has announced that they might ask the smoker to stub out the offending fag, but that's as far as it will go. No-one has the slightest intention of calling in the law. Why would anyone want to grass on a legitimate customer? Bearing in mind that most of the Vigili smoke, I suspect that apart from a profusion of No Smoking signs, the law will have absolutely no effect whatsoever. It's one thing banning smoking in places like airports and trains... but to try and affect someones livelihood is beyond the pale in Naples.
Just before Christmas, a Senegalese street seller in Vomero was collared by the Carabinieri. The usual crime is selling without a permit, or selling counterfeit goods. Before they could haul him off, the burghers of Vomero in their fur coats and Burberry macs set to his defence.. he was after all only trying to make an honest living... The result: 7 Carabinieri hospitalised.

I'm nicely back, as my mum would say, from Rome... well, it's the first day of the Lazio sales and the siren call of Prada called me as my most comfortable boots are wearing thin. For the usually 'oh so bored by shopping' Romans, today was a turnup for the books.. queues down Via Condotti to get into Gucci. I dont know what they were offering, but it was more than Prada opposite, which had precisely no people in a queue, not even of any sort, when I bowled up just before 10 am. All of which meant I was in, out and had shaken it all about by 10.15, which left the rest of the day free to potter...... and buy more shoes in Pollini.

Why am I telling you this.. well.. it gives me an opportunity to tell you about the train. And more importantly, a fabulous new innovation that Trenitalia has introduced... the TICKETLESS TICKET. Gone are the days of standing in endless lines at stations, gone are the days of kicking recalcitrant self service ticket dispensers... like Ryanair and Easyjet, I simply logged on the trenitalia website yesterday, chose my train, paid and printed out my confirmation email. Today I presented it to the capo treno who looked like I had just handed over a ransom demand for his daughter. While easy for the 'customer', it's a little more complicated for the conductor, who has to tap tsomething inscrutable into a pocket pc, then angle the infra red port so it beams something digital to the ticket machine, print off a ticket and receipt, and all while the train doing its level best to ensure man and machines end up on the floor. It may seem like a nothingness to you, but believe me the hours I will save from not standing in train station queues are .... well... hours. And as we all know... hours not to reason why.

News

An article in the Independent about the Camorra clan war.... Interesting... but the Spanish Quarter, where I live, isn't Forcella... nor is Forcella a stones throw from the famous bay. The Spanish Quarter has its own camorra clan, which isnt involved in the current war. Forcella, which lies between the central station and the Duomo, is historically the centre of the Camorra in Naples, and is still home to many of the big players in the 'black economy'. It's here where dvds and cds are manufactured by the thousand, and according to some estimates, half of the inhabitants are in the direct pay of the clans.

The Mercato Vecchio area of Naples is seen by some to be real heart of the city. Not only is it one of the oldest areas, it has the venerable Church of Santa Maria della Carmine, and one of the largest open spaces, which is used as a semicircular car park. Across the diameter of this would be circle, has been built a block of intensely ugly flats, which look out at a permanently scaffolded church and a collection of warehouses. It is here in the old market where some of the more colourful traditions of the city are kept alive. On New Years Eve this is where you come to buy fireworks, legal and otherwise, but on January 5th, the whole piazza becomes a bizarre jumble of toy stalls, snackeries, and hawkers of illegally copied playstation games, cd’s and video’s. Epiphany is when La Befana comes, and indeed, across the city, any shop or bar that normally sells sweets, be it only a packet of polos, stays open until at least midnight, allowing parents and relatives time to grab something for La Befana to leave in the childrens’ stockings.

Now La Befana is not widely known outside Italy, she is an ugly crone, who looks remarkably like a witch. Not only that, but she rides a horse, smells disgusting and is not known for her jolly hohoho’s. If a child has been good she will leave sweets, if bad, a lump of coal. Or so it used to be. Nowadays she is more likely to leave computer games, Barbie dolls and so on, as well as a goodly amount of saccharin sweet nougat and chocolate. The Italians have managed to extend the traditional week of seasonal merrymaking by a further 6 days. Christmas comes, and Babbo Natale leaves you something at the foot of the bed, New Year sees feasting and general partying, and then a week later, more presents, more fun to be had.

The history of La Befana is murky. Some fables have it that she was an old woman who gave shelter, in a B&B style, to the three Wise Men as they went to Bethlehem. Its difficult to get to the bottom of; I asked a friend of mine who La Befana was, and he looked at me seriously concerned, ‘She’s not real, she’s made up’. Anyway, in Italy the tradition of the stocking on the bedend is hers and not that kindly plump arriviste Father Christmas.

By midnight the action in the Mercato Vecchio is hotting up. There are hordes of people doing what Neapolitans do best: shopping. There are people trying to carry prams, police pedal cars and, elaborate ‘walkers’ over the heads of everyone else. Despite a complete ban on traffic during the night hours specifically for Epiphany, there is a continuous flow of drivers hoping to negotiate the throng, and who end up impotently leaning on the horn, while the car is surrounded and completely ignored by those who have seen Shrek 2 on a pirated dvd. I dont know how they do it... the Italian dubbed film is available illegally before it's even opened in the cinemas.. Actually, I do know how they do it.. the long fingers of organised crime extend easily into Cinecittà and the rest of the film industry and its easy to conceive of a simple trade off between a voice over artist slipping a copy of a newly dubbed Hollywood blockbuster and his grandmother having her knees smashed in a bizarre carparking accident.

Up in Spaccanapoli trestle tables are groaning under the weight of Kinder eggs, Mars Bars and Chuppachups which have replaced the Fortnum and Mason style display of Christmas hampers, panettone and boxes of Swiss chocolate. If it is true that an army marches on its stomach, the reason for the Italians not being the greatest warriors the world has ever seen is down to the fact that it would be impossible to supply enough food to the troops. This year they have apparently spent 740 million euros on chocolate and sweeties for La Befana to leave for children to find this morning.

I celebrated the holiday by going to see the Damien Hirst retrospective at the Museo Nazionale. I'm confused... all the literature tells me he is a German artist. Is there something we Britart viewers don't know? It is a arge exhibition, 4 rooms filled with exhibits. We have a sliced pig, a sliced cow, some glass fronted cupboards filled with surgical supplies, the large Mattel plastic man whcih started life as an academic toy to learn about the position of the organs, and a beach ball which dances on a stream of compressed air. There are also numerous circular pictures and a lot of shelves with pills on.
I'm glad I didnt have to pay to go in. While I appreciate the oft quoted fact that modern art should make you question your surroundings and what you accept as everyday, all I could think was what a sharp saw Damien must have. Putting pills on shelves and thinking up oh so witty titles does not constitute art. This is a man who would be happier working in an abbatoir or Hamleys. Either way, we would be spared his infantile wit and his gift for self publicity which combine to hide the fact that he has no artistic merit whatsoever.

Mr Berlusconi has 'forgiven' his attacker, and all is right with the world; the PM now being seen as more Christlike.. see entries passim. On the other hand a well known Italian poet has had the brass neck to compare Mr B to Mussolini... it may have been because they both sported large plasters at one point during their leadership, or it maybe Berlusconi's increasing sense of infallibility. Either way, the papers have made hay with the quote.

Pres. Ciampi has been in Naples.. He went off to Scampia yesterday to show solidarity with the people who live in that god forsaken part of the city and appealed to them not to leave, but to stay and fight the Camorra. Easier said than done. There have been another 3 murders since New Year, one of them at a funeral.

The vast majority of the city's population has instead been going to the sales. There are queues outside the shops every morning before they open, and it gets no better as the day progresses.

Fatigued from a hectic browse, if the two words can go together, I went to see the worlds largest, and possibly only, chocolate presepe (nativity scene). Here are the facts... 3,300 kg of chocolate, 4,500 hours in the making, it covers 24 square meters, 32 chocolatiers made it and it has 172 animals and 128 human figures. The best bit though, is the smell of it all. And it makes Juliet Binoche knocking up a few fondant fancies in that terrible film look like she's slacking.

One of the safer years for Naples New Year... only 57 casualties. Included in those are one man who blew his hand off, and a boy of 7 who was shot in the chest. Despite the lack of official fireworks, the locals bought everything they could find from the illegal fireworks makers. There is an increase in eye injuries this year. Instead of hurling rockets from windows.. which would be dangerous.... they were let off in the street, soaring to about fourth floor level before exploding in the faces of everyone who was hanging off a balcony.

80,000 people gathered in Piazza Plebiscito for the New Year, and raised a paltry 1000 euro for Asia. I am quite shocked, while feeling hugely proud of the British who have raised more than 50 million quid in a few days.

The other big news, apart from the sales starting today, is that an unemployed brickie thumped Berlusconi in Piazza Navona the other day. The PM is now sporting a huge plaster behind his ear. Asked why he did it, the brickie replied... 'Because I hate him'. Techincally he could face 7 years in prison for attacking a member of the government, but instead he has been sent home and has to sign at the local police station 3 times a week. Other politicians are outraged.

I can't begin to describe New Year in Naples. i was here 2 years ago and was shocked, tonight I was plain scared. For anyone who has lived in a war zone, Naples is the same on new years eve. The huge home made mortars (the Bin Laden as it is called) shake buildings when they explode. They are meant to be detonated 100 metres from people and buildings. Here they are put on the landing outside the front door and a match thrown. The noise is deafening. At midnight 40 mintutes of earsplitting bangs ensured, from all directions. Here the sound is more important than the visual spectacle. It's still going on and will do so all night. The comune might have cancelled the official display but the Neapolitans cant managed a new year without a vast array of bangs. Guns which are usually hidden are displayed and fired in the street, and here in hte Quartieri the old tradition of throwing things out at midnight to make a clean start in the new Year is carried on. On the stroke of midnight, with fireworks, guns and champagne corks, a hail of bin liners flew from balconies into the street filled with clothes, bottles, and broken electrical items. For a simple Yorkshireman it's a bit of a shock.
Now I must get my glad rags on and sallie forth to dance the night away in freezing temperatures. It might be rather sedate dancing.. I rarely boogie in jumper, scarf, fleece nad heavy winter coat.. but thats my party togs for tonight.