Sunday, May 29, 2005
I'm vexed. May of the Monuments came to a close today, and the final weekend promised the opening of the cemetery of 366 tombs... a remnant of the Borbonic era, finally used in the cholera epidemic of 1888. For weeks I have been asking various tourist offices where this cemetery is, no-one seems to know. But this morning, bright and early, I set off and walked to the where it was, under a flyover of the ring road.. finally directed by a binman and a hearse driver. Of course it was shut. A very nice man told me that although it had been advertsied in the official literature, in the papers last Thursday and this morning, nobody had had the presence of mind to get authorisation for the opening of what is basically private property. Hence, no cemetery and I had walked kilometres in broiling sun for no reason whatsoever.
What's worse, is that exactly the same thing happened last year with the cemetery at Fontanelle which was advertsied as being open, but eventually declared to be too dangerous to open to the public. Ho hum, .. next year perhaps.
What's worse, is that exactly the same thing happened last year with the cemetery at Fontanelle which was advertsied as being open, but eventually declared to be too dangerous to open to the public. Ho hum, .. next year perhaps.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Video mobile phones.. what are they all about? They are the latest thing to incense me. As the techonology is as far advanced as the early housebrick cellphones were in 1989, I really cant see the point of them at all, unless you work in the porn industry.
On the ferry back from Palermo, a bloke called his mate. At six in the morning they had a video conversation. It went like this...
Ciao
...ciao (actually the other person sounded like lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkcccccccccccccsstkmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Can you see Vesuvio?
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I cant hear you
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk cccccccccccccccccccccc hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I said can you see Vesuvio
kkkkkkkkkkk ssssssssssssssssssssss hggggnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkl
we'll talk later
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I said we'll talk later
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
What?
lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
end of call
Now the technological problem here is a crap video camera housed in a small piece of plastic with equally naff speakers. Hence, the fact that to use the video you have to hold the phone at arms length, which means that to hear your caller the speakers have to be at top volume with all the resultant distortion. I cant believe the men at Motorola didnt latch on to that, or perhaps they were so keen to get the porn industry to buy in bulk the idea of holding anything at arms length carried them away. And to cap it all, everyone within earshot has to listen to your inane conversation in which you ask each other to repeat what the just said ad infinitum.
Much better would be a phone whihc when you held it at arms length squirted water in your face... and about as effective as video telefony.
On the ferry back from Palermo, a bloke called his mate. At six in the morning they had a video conversation. It went like this...
Ciao
...ciao (actually the other person sounded like lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkcccccccccccccsstkmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Can you see Vesuvio?
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I cant hear you
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk cccccccccccccccccccccc hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I said can you see Vesuvio
kkkkkkkkkkk ssssssssssssssssssssss hggggnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkl
we'll talk later
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I said we'll talk later
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
What?
lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
end of call
Now the technological problem here is a crap video camera housed in a small piece of plastic with equally naff speakers. Hence, the fact that to use the video you have to hold the phone at arms length, which means that to hear your caller the speakers have to be at top volume with all the resultant distortion. I cant believe the men at Motorola didnt latch on to that, or perhaps they were so keen to get the porn industry to buy in bulk the idea of holding anything at arms length carried them away. And to cap it all, everyone within earshot has to listen to your inane conversation in which you ask each other to repeat what the just said ad infinitum.
Much better would be a phone whihc when you held it at arms length squirted water in your face... and about as effective as video telefony.
Video mobile phones.. what are they all about? They are the latest thing to incense me. As the techonology is as far advanced as the early housebrick cellphones were in 1989, I really cant see the point of them at all, unless you work in the porn industry.
On the ferry back from Palermo, a bloke called his mate. At six in the morning they had a video conversation. It went like this...
Ciao
...ciao (actually the other person sounded like lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkcccccccccccccsstkmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Can you see Vesuvio?
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I cant hear you
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk cccccccccccccccccccccc hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I said can you see Vesuvio
kkkkkkkkkkk ssssssssssssssssssssss hggggnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkl
we'll talk later
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I said we'll talk later
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
What?
lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
end of call
Now the technological problem here is a crap video camera housed in a small piece of plastic with equally naff speakers. Hence, the fact that to use the video you have to hold the phone at arms length, which means that to hear your caller the speakers have to be at top volume with all the resultant distortion. I cant believe the men at Motorola didnt latch on to that, or perhaps they were so keen to get the porn industry to buy in bulk the idea of holding anything at arms length carried them away. And to cap it all, everyone within earshot has to listen to your inane conversation in which you ask each other to repeat what the just said ad infinitum.
Much better would be a phone whihc when you held it at arms length squirted water in your face... and about as effective as video telefony.
On the ferry back from Palermo, a bloke called his mate. At six in the morning they had a video conversation. It went like this...
Ciao
...ciao (actually the other person sounded like lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkcccccccccccccsstkmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Can you see Vesuvio?
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I cant hear you
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk cccccccccccccccccccccc hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I said can you see Vesuvio
kkkkkkkkkkk ssssssssssssssssssssss hggggnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkl
we'll talk later
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I said we'll talk later
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
What?
lkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
end of call
Now the technological problem here is a crap video camera housed in a small piece of plastic with equally naff speakers. Hence, the fact that to use the video you have to hold the phone at arms length, which means that to hear your caller the speakers have to be at top volume with all the resultant distortion. I cant believe the men at Motorola didnt latch on to that, or perhaps they were so keen to get the porn industry to buy in bulk the idea of holding anything at arms length carried them away. And to cap it all, everyone within earshot has to listen to your inane conversation in which you ask each other to repeat what the just said ad infinitum.
Much better would be a phone whihc when you held it at arms length squirted water in your face... and about as effective as video telefony.
Monday, May 23, 2005
I was intending to email posts to this blog from Sicily, but i was let down by technology, or more clearly, technology hasn'tyet arrived in Sicily. There is a dearth of internet bars, and those which do exist all have bizarre opening hours. Anyway Im now back in Naples and full of gobbets of news.
Firstly, the newspaper article that made me choke on a croissant yesterday morning. While any visitor to Naples is likely to see a child of tender years riding a large scooter down the decumani, yesterday's paper informed the reader that police had stopped a child of 7 while driving his dad's car round Giuliano, a suburb of Naples. What seems to be more extraordinary is that his Dad had tossed him the keys and told him to go adn to do the shopping.
The other big news is that Italy is falling into recession. Sicilian papers say that 400 firms will go bust in the next couple of months. It's getting serious now, though BErlusconi wonìt admit it. Two weeks ago at the first hint of trouble, he annouced that any slump was because of Easter. Apparently having a days holiday was reponsible for the collapse in output. A week after it was the fault of the euro. Mr B revealed that prices have gone up alot since the introduction of the euro, which just goes to show how little he listens to the electorate who have been screaming the same fact since 2 Jan 2001. Now it's the fault of terrorism, world trouble, oil, in fact anything other than Mr B himself. No doubt next week it will be the fault of the communists. He makes TOny Blair look like a moral guardian.
Firstly, the newspaper article that made me choke on a croissant yesterday morning. While any visitor to Naples is likely to see a child of tender years riding a large scooter down the decumani, yesterday's paper informed the reader that police had stopped a child of 7 while driving his dad's car round Giuliano, a suburb of Naples. What seems to be more extraordinary is that his Dad had tossed him the keys and told him to go adn to do the shopping.
The other big news is that Italy is falling into recession. Sicilian papers say that 400 firms will go bust in the next couple of months. It's getting serious now, though BErlusconi wonìt admit it. Two weeks ago at the first hint of trouble, he annouced that any slump was because of Easter. Apparently having a days holiday was reponsible for the collapse in output. A week after it was the fault of the euro. Mr B revealed that prices have gone up alot since the introduction of the euro, which just goes to show how little he listens to the electorate who have been screaming the same fact since 2 Jan 2001. Now it's the fault of terrorism, world trouble, oil, in fact anything other than Mr B himself. No doubt next week it will be the fault of the communists. He makes TOny Blair look like a moral guardian.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
I sort of take it back. The scooter ban is holding up. In a comparative sense. The main drag is scooterless, every other street is chocabloc with the things. However, tourists seem happier. May of the Monuments is going great guns. Attendance is up hugely on last year, as are museum admissions and all that jazz. It might be because the summer hasn't yet arrived, today has been the first truly cloudless day for a few weeks.
I took advantage of the special opening of the Church of the Sapienza which ahs been closed for the last 50 years. Its an amazing baroque confection with secret passages, a holy staircase for pilgrims to go up on their knees, and all manner of majolica, mosaic, polichrome, gilt, frescoes and wotnot. It needs another 2 million euros to finish the restoration, which is nothing in the greater scheme ofthings, but Naples needs another church like it needs more traffic.
I also took a guided tour round the Palazzo venezia, a shell of what was once a beautiful Venetian embassy. The frescoes the interiors have long since gone, but what remains of the garden is still worth a visit. This city never ceases to amaze me. Almost every time you go through a tiny door into one of the palazzi in the centro storico you find yourself in a 15th or 16th century magnificent cortile, with roof gardens, extravagant stairwells and all manner of architectural frippery. THe buildings are so unprepossessing from street level, and many have fared badly over the years, being divided and subdivided into an astonishing number of flats that very little remains of the original building, but it's still a fascinating glimpse into the Naples of old.
I took advantage of the special opening of the Church of the Sapienza which ahs been closed for the last 50 years. Its an amazing baroque confection with secret passages, a holy staircase for pilgrims to go up on their knees, and all manner of majolica, mosaic, polichrome, gilt, frescoes and wotnot. It needs another 2 million euros to finish the restoration, which is nothing in the greater scheme ofthings, but Naples needs another church like it needs more traffic.
I also took a guided tour round the Palazzo venezia, a shell of what was once a beautiful Venetian embassy. The frescoes the interiors have long since gone, but what remains of the garden is still worth a visit. This city never ceases to amaze me. Almost every time you go through a tiny door into one of the palazzi in the centro storico you find yourself in a 15th or 16th century magnificent cortile, with roof gardens, extravagant stairwells and all manner of architectural frippery. THe buildings are so unprepossessing from street level, and many have fared badly over the years, being divided and subdivided into an astonishing number of flats that very little remains of the original building, but it's still a fascinating glimpse into the Naples of old.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
To combat the microcriminalità the comune is planning to ban mopeds and scooters from the entire centro storico at weekends. Like last years plan not to sell alcohol in glass bottles after 10pm, this is entirely unworkable. The idea of a Neapolitan pushing his scooter the breadth of the historic centre before he rides off is laughable. Already the pedestrian zones of Via TOledo and Via Chiaia have people whizzing up and down, and parking anywhere they like. To add to the problem, any notion of a highway code disappears completely at about 5.30 on a Saturday evening when all the young blades have to get to the barber, sunbed centre, and clothes shops in preparation for their Saturday night out. Corso Umberto becomes a free for all with traffic going in all directions. Added to this is the complete inability of people to park their car and walk to the shops. The only option is apparently to park directly outside, two or even three deep and thereby stop any bus from getting past. Yesterday a scooter clipped the bus I was on, by virtue of the fact that the scooter was on the wrong side of the road in a bus lane. The shouting match which ensued, the scooter rider blaming the bus driver meant that the bus driver went off to the bar in a huff and left my bendy bus blocking the road and a busfull of passengers to wander aimlessly around waiting for another to come. Still, I wouldnt live anywhere else.
Piazza Plebiscito, the largest square in Naples, is being covered in sand, and becoming a show jumping arena. You can't imagine the same happening in Trafalgar Square. In fact would never pair showjumping adn Naples in teh same breath, but we wait and see.
Piazza Plebiscito, the largest square in Naples, is being covered in sand, and becoming a show jumping arena. You can't imagine the same happening in Trafalgar Square. In fact would never pair showjumping adn Naples in teh same breath, but we wait and see.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Summer has arrived, and the people flock to the sea. I am fascinated as to when the youth of Naples actually go to school. Every time I go near the Villa Communale or the lungomare, the palce is packed with school children whose idea of attendance seems to be sitting round drinking beer at 11 in the morning. As the sea front is within sight of the nearest school you must assume that the teachers know and don't particularly care.
The latest wheeze from central governement, having had a disastrous election, is to strengthen the economy of the south. The current suggestion from Berlusconi's cronies is to sell the coastline of southern Italy on 100 year leases. Now, you can guess that the only people in favour of this particualar notion are some of the owners of the lidos which currently run on 10 and 20 year leases. Even some of these think the idea is completely mad. Bearing in mind that most of the south is run by what we can call 'interested parties' surely selling the beaches is just a gift to speculators and builders... or perhaps Berlusconi would buy a few hundred kilometres for himself to build villas on.
The latest wheeze from central governement, having had a disastrous election, is to strengthen the economy of the south. The current suggestion from Berlusconi's cronies is to sell the coastline of southern Italy on 100 year leases. Now, you can guess that the only people in favour of this particualar notion are some of the owners of the lidos which currently run on 10 and 20 year leases. Even some of these think the idea is completely mad. Bearing in mind that most of the south is run by what we can call 'interested parties' surely selling the beaches is just a gift to speculators and builders... or perhaps Berlusconi would buy a few hundred kilometres for himself to build villas on.
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